Several years ago I took a job working as a cashier at Victoria’s Secret. That’s how my essay begins, and really that sentence could sum up my entire existence since then.
Born in Hope Valley, Rhode Island, I moved to Nashville, TN at the age 18 to become the next Tim McGraw. When this didn’t work out, I decided to become a travel writer, which lasted a few weeks until I took a job at J.Crew and realized all of my coworkers had gone to college to become travel writers. From there, I decided to go to med school, as I liked the feeling of telling people I was going to become a doctor. They seemed to look at me differently, as if I was wearing a BMW on my head and carrying a house in Nantucket on my shoulder.
“YOU HAVE WHAT WE WANT,” they seemed to say. And I did. Or at least I thought I did.
My imaginary empire came tumbling down in my fifth year of college. After a series of unfortunate events, which seemed to suggest I had lost all touch with the female world, I decided I needed to go somewhere to study women. Which is how I ended up at Victoria’s Secret.
“When you look at the past couple of years, it kind of makes sense you’d work there,” my mother told me. And she was right. When you considered the careers I’d pursued were merely veiled attempts at getting in girls’ pants, it was only logical that, when I failed at them, I’d take a job selling what was in girls’ pants. I was simply removing the middle man.
After working there for a year, I had four journals worth of material, and began performing for That Time of the Month, a funny female storytelling show (with one token male), as well as writing and performing a one man show called “The Lingerie Diaries“. My Victoria’s Secret stuff has also been published on Salon, AskMen, British GQ, Business Insider, and The Times of India. Outside of the storytelling world, I’ve written scripts for Music Video Sins (see videos page) and Belmont University.
I am currently the managing editor of Livability.com.